


Year Walk

by AphraelEmery (NiyuElra)



Category: Haikyuu!!, Year Walk (Video Game)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Hallucinations, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Non-Linear Narrative, Visions in dreams, Yahaba Shigeru-centric, character death applies to IwaOi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-21
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:07:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24303409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NiyuElra/pseuds/AphraelEmery
Summary: “Just, promise me you won’t do anything foolish.” Hajime murmurs as he is pulled down, Hajime pressing a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth.“We are not supposed to know what happens in the future.”XXXXXXX“Do you really have to do this?”“You know I have to,” Yahaba says softly, “They won’t stop until I do."
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Kyoutani Kentarou/Yahaba Shigeru
Comments: 3
Kudos: 12





	Year Walk

**Author's Note:**

> Warning:  
> This story is based on the game of the same name. If anyone has played/watched that game, then spoilers: IwaOi's fate reflects that of the characters in the game. IwaOi does not have a good time here. There is no happy ending for them. Their story is in bits and pieces in dreams. They done and dead. 
> 
> DO NOT PROCEED if that hurts you.
> 
> That said, this is unbeta'ed and has been in the works for the past 5 years so they're probably OOC and there might be mistakes cos I'm just too tired to proofread.
> 
> YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

It started with a dream.

_“Where have you been? I’ve been waiting all day.”_

_The man in front of him is scowling, and he has the urge to reach out and smooth away the wrinkles on the man’s forehead._

_“You shouldn’t have gone out without a hat in this kind of weather, stupid. You’ll freeze your big head off.” The man grumbles though it sounds fond. The man reaches forward, hand rubbing at the sides of his face and it’s only then that he realizes he’s freezing._

_He watches as the frown fades away from the man’s face, a small smile tugging on the man’s lips instead as the man helps to brush snow off his head. He has no idea why it makes warmth bloom rapidly throughout his body but he can feel in his soul how important this man in front of him is._

_He closes his eyes, basking in the attention as the man’s fingers run through his hair but the moment shatters a second later._

_“Did anyone see you coming here?”_

_He feels indignation, anger, and hurt rise at the implication but a hand pushing against his face stops any protests he may have had._

_“Stop. I know what you’re thinking.” The man says, frowning again. “Don’t be ridiculous, you know I’m not ashamed of you.”_

_“Maybe you’re not ashamed of me, but you’re ashamed of us.” He says. He thinks he would have felt happiness at seeing the man flush red but now it feels bitter in his chest._

_“You know I love you.” His heart swells with happiness at that but the man sighs; and he feels his heart drop. “But you and I are both men.”_

_“And we both know they would not agree if they knew.”_

_“Hajime?” The voice is soft and uncertain and he knows that it’s that woman. His stomach churns at how she calls him by name._

_“What is she doing here?” he says, failing to prevent the words from sounding harsh. It earns him a reprimanding look._

_“She is waiting for my answer. I told her I’d give it to her next year.”_

_“And this is the last day of this year.” The man – Hajime – murmurs, eyes watching the door as they listen to the sound of feet passing by._

_“So you’re going to fall into her arms now then, and live a happy life without me.” He says before Hajime can say any more, with sharp words and bitter hate._

_“This isn’t any easier for me either, you douche.” Hajime snaps back, and he feels bitter satisfaction at attaining his attention once more. “Leave, then.”_

_Hajime turns away but he reaches out and snags Hajime’s arm, preventing Hajime from going away. He feels so much anger at this turn of events, at the unfairness of the world and his grip unconsciously tightens._

_“That hurts! Calm down!” Hajime nearly shouts but stops at the last second, gritting out the words instead. Hajime grabs hold of his wrist and yanks his hand away. They stare at each other but he is the first to break it._

_“I’m… I’m going to Year walk.” He blurts out, hating the oppressive silence._

_“Year Walk?_ _You can’t be serious._ _That’s the stupidest idea you’ve told me so far and god knows you’ve had a lot of stupid ideas.” Hajime scowls, “You remember what happened to Kageyama right?”_

_“Hajime? Where are you?” A voice interrupts before he can reply. This time there’s a different voice, deeper and harsher than the soft lilt earlier and he knows its Hajime’s mother._

_“You should hurry home to your cottage and get some rest.”_ _Hajime sighs, hands already pushing him to the exit. “It’s getting dark soon.”_

_“Just, promise me you won’t do anything foolish.” Hajime murmurs as he is pulled down, Hajime pressing a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth._

_“We are not supposed to know what happens in the future.”_

XXXXXX

Shigeru wakes slowly, the dream fading out as consciousness seeps in. It takes him a moment to get his limbs to work and he pushes himself up just as slow; feeling unsettled from the dream. It had felt so real, as though it had been a memory that he had forgotten even as he _knows_ that he had never met that man – Hajime – before; _knows_ that he had never been to the inside of a mill before, never lived in the countryside, never felt his heart stop at the thought of losing someone as he did in that dream.

But is that really true?

“Yahaba?” Watari’s voice cuts through his thoughts and he looks up to see Watari freshly showered, a towel wrapped around his waist as he passes Yahaba to get to his bed. “You alright?”

“Huh? Yeah, ‘course, why wouldn’t I be?”

“You’re rubbing your chest,” Watari states with obvious concern. Yahaba startles, looking down to find that he had been absently rubbing a thumb over the area where his heart is. “Does it hurt?”

“It’s… It’s nothing. I’m fine.” Yahaba stutters out, bringing his hand up to wipe his face instead. “It doesn’t hurt. Sorry for making you worry.”

Watari doesn’t look convinced but doesn’t push it.

The dream gets pushed to the back of his mind as Yahaba goes about his morning routine, and disappears under the subsequent chaos as they leave the hotel and head back home to Tokyo. It’s only when he’s saying goodbye to Watari and crashing onto his couch back at his apartment that he remembers about the box he had found during his time in Miyagi.

He’s on the floor and taking the box out of his luggage when the door suddenly opens and Yahaba looks up to see Kyoutani.

“You’re back.” Kyoutani sounds surprised, frowning slightly as he steps out of his shoes.

“Yeah, the expedition was completed earlier than expected,” Yahaba replies, turning to place the box onto the floor beside him. “What about you? Just finished work?”

Kyoutani grunts an affirmative, walking past Yahaba into the kitchen.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He calls out as he putters around in the kitchen doing god knows what. He better not be drinking from the carton again. He may be jetlagged and tired but fury will give him the strength to kick Kyoutani out.

“Tell you what?”

“That you were getting back earlier,” Kyoutani replies, coming back into the living room with a bottle of water.

Yahaba raised a brow. “Why? Missed me?” He sneered, and laughed when Kyoutani scoffed, hiding red cheeks by taking a gulp of water. He puts the bottle down at the counter and Yahaba would have scolded him if not for the sudden intense look on Kyoutani’s face as he stalks towards him.

“Maybe I did.” That shuts Yahaba up and his mind scrambles to remind him that Kyoutani doesn’t mean it the way he wants it to mean. It helps when he feels arms come around his waist, Kyoutani pressing himself against Yahaba and kissing his jaw. It’s always just been sex between them, even if Yahaba wants more.

Kyoutani pulls him up onto the couch, and Yahaba goes willingly. It’s been a few weeks since the last time they were together and he’s always been unable to refuse anything Kyoutani deigns to give him.

“I missed you.” Kyoutani murmurs into his neck as he starts to suck a bruise there. Yahaba can’t help but moan, all thoughts about the box gone and ignoring the way his heart leaped at the words. Kyoutani just wants to get in his pants, he shouldn’t think too much about it.

He’s missed Kyoutani, but he knows it’d reveal too much if he said anything right now. So he captures Kyoutani’s mouth with his and allows him to push him back onto the couch cushions.

XXXXXX

_He blinks at the snow-white surroundings, skies dark, and casting an eerie gloom over the village as he steps carefully out of the house. There’s complete silence, with no sound other than his own footsteps crunching the snow beneath his feet with every step he takes. The silence is oppressive, and he knows that he would not meet anyone on this walk of his. It is unlike the silence of a village settling down to sleep at the end of the day; this is the silence of a ghost town._

_He walks down the path to the church but finds the gate leading to it locked._

_“Damnit.” He curses under his breath, trying valiantly to get the lock to break as he shakes the bars violently. The lock looks old and rusted but remains strong despite his efforts. He huffs in irritation, if he knew the gate would be locked, he would have gotten the key from Hanamaki first._

_He’ll just have to break in and steal it then. Even though it shouldn’t be considered breaking in if this place is only a parallel universe. Either way he has to find the key if he wants to complete his goal. He turns and walks towards where Hanamaki’s house, toeing off his shoes and murmuring a greeting as he steps in even though he knows that there won’t be anyone here. He almost makes it to Hanamaki’s room where he knows he keeps the spare key when he hears singing._

_It’s soft and melodious yet otherworldly; as though it exists on a different plane of time and it effectively distracts him back out._

_He doesn’t find the source immediately but follows the song to the edge of the forest where he sees a woman with black long hair and porcelain skin sitting atop a tree stump as she sings. Her back is to him and her song stops as he steps nearer; clearly sensing his presence._

_Grey eyes open as she turns her head to regard him over her shoulder though they don’t appear afraid. Her song starts again when she moves to get up, turning back to the forest and moving forward._

_It feels like a dismissal._

_“Who are you?” he calls out, hoping to catch her attention._

_The woman doesn’t reply, moving away further into the forest until he couldn’t see her anymore though he could still hear her song. He shivers from the biting wind, looking around uncertainly before he moves to follow._

_He doesn’t realize that he had fallen into a mindless daze until he abruptly snaps out of it, realizing that the sky had gotten dark; and that he could barely even feel the whipping wind anymore, surrounded by huge trees._

_He can barely see, with only light from the fireflies preventing him from being encased in darkness. He could still hear the woman’s song though and has no choice but to follow and find her. He hopes that she will not lead him astray._

_He finds her standing beneath a huge tree and her song abruptly stops as she opens her eyes, staring straight at him. He watches in frozen horror as grey becomes swallowed by black, and fangs start to grow. She hisses at him and he begs his body to run, but she’s suddenly in front of him, slamming him against the trunk of a tree._

_Adrenaline kicks in and he struggles against her grip, managing to knock her off. He’s about to run for it when he hears a wicked cough and finds that it’s from the woman, hunched over on the ground in pain from where he had managed to kick her._

_Viscous black liquid dots the ground before her and he realizes that she must have been injured already if he had managed to fend off someone like her off so easily._

_And then he remembers what he had heard about beings like her. That they needed blood to live and that they would offer a favor back in return if someone offered their blood instead of having to lure someone in._

_He has no idea how true the rumors he heard were, but he doesn’t think that he could just leave her there in pain either, even if she had rudely thrown him against a tree._

_He sighs and cautiously steps closer to her, going down to his knees in front of her, her eyes watching his movements warily._

_“It’s okay, you can drink.” He whispers, craning his head back, and baring his throat. He personally would prefer something more comfortable than the forest floor as his death bed if she ends up killing him but well, if he’s going to get killed, at least he’d be killed by a gorgeous woman._

_There’s a pause as she considers him and he closes his eyes when he feels teeth graze his skin. Thinks of a warm brown gaze._

_“You are a kind man. Though lost.” She murmurs against his throat. “In return, I will show you what you seek.”_

_“Wha – “ He cuts off in a scream as she finally sinks her teeth into his neck. He loses feeling after a moment and black spots start to fill his vision._

_He sees a river and a beautiful man with silver hair and a shining sinister smile before everything fades to black._

XXXXXX

Yahaba wakes with a gasp, hand coming up to grasp the side of his neck, disoriented at the phantom pain of being bitten. He hears a grunt from behind him and the arm slung around his waist tightens before he feels Kyoutani press his lips to the back of his neck.

“Nngh?” Kyoutani rumbles, sleep-soft and grumpy, and Yahaba realizes that he’s panting heavily. Kyoutani shifts, reaching over Yahaba and shutting off the alarm that Yahaba hadn’t even noticed was blaring.

“Yahaba?” Kyoutani prompts him, frowning sleepily down at him, using the hand not trapped underneath Yahaba to stroke his chest, probably mistaking Yahaba’s reaction to breathing problems or something, not that Yahaba had any. He felt touched regardless.

“I – I’m fine.” Yahaba swats Kyoutani’s hand away, squashing the warm feeling in his chest mercilessly before he can get ahead of himself. It helps to distract him from the dream and he scrambles out of the bed as he realizes that he needs to get ready for his morning class. Kyoutani just yawns and flops back onto the bed, gazing blearily at Yahaba as he goes about his business.

“Shit, I’m going to be late,” Yahaba mutters angrily as he scoops his bag off the floor by the bed, cursing himself for taking too long in the shower – but he had to make sure that there really wasn’t any bite marks on his neck, he swears it’s not because he got distracted by the hickeys Kyoutani left on him.

“Have fun,” He thinks he hears Kyoutani mumble from where he’s buried himself back into the bed, and Yahaba wonders when it was that he didn’t even think twice about leaving Kyoutani alone in his apartment as he rushes to leave.

But he doesn’t have the time to think too deep into why that is and just puts up his middle finger in response even though he knows Kyoutani can’t see it.

The dream gets pushed aside in the rush and he doesn’t think about it until a week later.

XXXXXX

This time it starts at a river.

_He flinches at the sudden burst of wind, shivering violently. He can’t feel his fingers and he hopes he has a good enough grip not to lose his coat to the wind. He can’t see the surroundings clearly due to the fog but he can hear the sound of moving water and follows it to a river. He looks to the left and right but there’s no bridge as far as he can see to cross._

_There’s a splash of water and when he looks up, he sees a man with silver hair dancing above the river, his feet barely grazing the water as he twirls and the black suit he is wearing makes his glowing pale skin stand out. He watches in amazement at the ethereal display before he remembers that the key had been shown to be with him, and his hopes rise._

_“Hey! You have the key for the gate to the church right?” He shouts to the man and the man stops mid-twirl, only moving his head to look back at him. He stumbles back as the head turns unnaturally to face him even though the front of his body remains facing away from him._

_The man’s eyes are fully grey and he struggles to maintain eye contact. He has to stamp down on the urge to run away as they stare at one another in silence until the man finally moves, aligning his body properly in his direction._

_He watches as the man’s eyes widen, glinting with mischief and a wicked grin forming on his lips._

_“You are looking for this?” His voice is melodious, tone cheeky as his hand dips into a pocket and pulls out the key he’s been searching for._

_“Yes. Will you give it to me?” He asks as nicely as he can, heart pounding, hoping fervently that it would be that easy._

_But of course nothing ever came easy for him._

_The man’s grin turns even sharper as he drops the key back into his pocket instead, extending his left hand towards him, palm up._

_“I will give you the key in exchange for a favor from you. Will you help me?”_

_He feels a bad feeling about this but has no choice but to accept. There is no other way to the Church but through the gate._

_“Yes.”_

_The man nods, sharp grin softening as tendrils of water swirls up into the space above his open palm and forming a small square. The water shimmers violently for a moment, and then there’s a picture of a baby, with rotted grey skin and a shock of orange hair, tucked into a corner. He can tell that the ‘walls’ were wooden but he has no way of knowing for sure if the baby was in a room or a crate or anything else made of wood._

_“I need you to help me find this child, and bring him to me. I will give you the key when you return.”_

**_Bring him to peace._ **

_He shudders as he hears the man’s voice echo in his head and nods, turning away to start his search even as dread weighs heavy in his chest. He remembers the tale about infants being left to die usually because they were born out of wedlock, his mother warning him about knocking a girl up before marriage even though at the time it was so ironic he’d wanted to laugh._

_He wanders the area until he comes to a windmill house, recognizing it as Hajime’s. He’s about to turn around – a mix of emotions churning his stomach at the sight of it even though he knows that no one will be there – when he hears a shrill wailing sound come from that direction._

_The silence is deafening after the wail and he rushes to the house, abandoning any manners as he bursts inside. Another wail pierces the air as he was checking the first floor, and he doesn’t know whether he feels relieved or disappointed that it’s coming from the basement._

_He follows the soft whimpering to a secluded corner behind a cart and has to take a moment to repress the urge to vomit. He takes off his cravat and uses it to cover his nose and mouth before finally looking over the cart, to find the baby corpse fidgeting and crying. The mere sight of it almost makes him hurl._

_He has to take another moment to brace himself before bending down and gently cradling the baby in his arms. Thankfully the baby isn’t wailing anymore, only sniffling a little as it snuggles against him._

_The journey back is torturous, the baby leeching off his heat and growing heavier the further they go. By the time he reaches the river again, he feels as though the baby weighs a tonne, sweat pouring down his face even in the freezing cold as he struggles to carry it to the bank._

_The man smiles when he sees them and raises an arm, the baby floating up away towards him, making him fall into the snowbank in exhaustion. He watches as the man carefully cradles the baby, cooing to it soothingly as he starts to submerge into the river. He was too busy watching in morbid fascination that he only realizes that he hadn’t been given the key._

_“Hey, wait! You said you’d give me the key!” He shouts after the man, who only looks up long enough to shoot him a wide, evil grin before he submerges entirely. He scrambles up, adrenaline and anger pulsing through his veins and standing there in shock until he realizes there’s something glinting on the rock where the man was on before._

_The key._

_Was left on the rock for him._

_In the middle of a rushing river._

_“Bastard.”_

_It takes a while for him to find a sturdy enough looking coil of vine wrapped around a thick oak and he curses again as he tentatively steps into the river, grabbing tight to the vine to prevent himself from getting swept up by the strong current. The water is freezing and unforgiving as he inches along the riverbed, hardly able to tell where his feet are. He dares not move any faster even as his extremities start to numb._

_He makes his way slowly, hands reaching out to grab the key when the caw of a crow sounds overhead. He doesn’t think anything of it at first, until he notices the damn bird circling overhead._

_“Shit. You better not be aiming for the damn key.”_

_He’s close to the key now and he stretches out a hand towards it desperately, fingers barely brushing against it. He’s almost right at the middle of the river now and the current is getting stronger the more he advances. He tugs on the vine a little, making sure that it’s anchored before trying again, this time his fingers managing to curl around the key slightly._

_Just as the crow swoops down and scoops the key away from him._

_“NO!!” He screams in frustration, lunging forwards in a desperate attempt to snatch the key back. It proves futile as the crow soars up and away and there is one second where everything slows down and he realizes with mounting horror that he’s falling into the rushing river. He manages to suck in a panicked breath before he goes under, the strong current pulling him under immediately._

_The next second the air is knocked out of him as something crashes against him. It burns as water rushes in but he is helpless to do anything, flailing as the current sweeps him away. He wonders if this will be the way he finally dies before he blacks out entirely._

XXXXXX

Yahaba chokes on air as he wakes, still reeling from the vivid dream and he vaguely feels the bed dip a moment later as Kyoutani presses against him.

“Hey, you’re alright. Just breathe with me. Can you feel that?” Kyoutani pulls Yahaba’s hand to his chest, urging Yahaba to follow as he takes in slow deep breaths.

It takes a while until his head clears a little from the fear and panic, Kyoutani’s chest warm and stable for Yahaba to focus on as he helps him breathe. And it takes a little while more for Yahaba to realize that Kyoutani was murmuring reassuring nonsense words.

It makes his chest seize in a whole different way.

“I –.” Yahaba rasps, coughing midway. Kyoutani tightens his hand around Yahaba’s and stops talking, watching him intently.

“Are you okay?” Kyoutani asked quietly after Yahaba was done coughing his lungs out, hand still tight around Yahaba’s.

God, he’s so tired.

“Yeah – I’m fine. Sorry, had a nightmare,” Yahaba murmured, pushing at Kyoutani to lay back. Kyoutani is still staring at him worriedly, but Yahaba is really too tired to deal with it.

“G’back to sleep,” Yahaba yawned, falling into Kyoutani’s chest and getting comfortable. He feels Kyoutani freeze but just manhandles him into a comfortable position for both of them. He’s tired, freaked out from the dream, and just do not give a shit right now.

All he knows is that he feels safe with Kyoutani near him and he’s crashing at Yahaba’s place anyway, he can always say it’s his due to stay here. He’s almost back to sleep, pressed against Kyoutani’s side when he feels an arm curling over him, pulling him a little closer. His hand comes to rest against Yahaba’s curled one, tucking itself beneath his fist like it was natural and belonged there.

Yahaba buries his face into Kyoutani’s chest to stop himself from wanting more.

XXXXXX

_Next time starts at the mouth of a cave._

_He vaguely remembers what had happened at the river but has no idea how he managed to survive or how he found himself here. He’s holding a torch but doesn’t remember how he got it either. All he knows is that he’s somehow not dead and that the crow had the key._

_And that the crow’s nest is at the top of this cave._

_He steps through the cave cautiously, the small flame hardly providing enough light to see what’s in front of him as he crawls along. He had seen the crow fly to the top of this mountain and the only way he knew to the top was through this cave._

_It takes him a while but he finally manages to locate the ladder leading to the top and cringes at the stain of dried blood on the cave wall behind it. He slowly but steadily climbs, keeping his head up and not daring to look down._

_Eventually he sees light from above, and carefully climbs the last few steps to the top, fingers tight around the ladder. He’d never forgive himself if he accidentally falls down now if it doesn’t kill him first._

_“You!” He growls the moments he stands and finds the crow sitting innocently atop a rock, the key at its feet. “You took what was meant to be mine!”_

_He lunges towards it, in an effort to scare the bird away but it merely hops away from him and then lunges forward to peck at his hand in retaliation. He yells with pain and rears back, ready to fight but the crow doesn’t do anything more. It seemed to be protecting itself and its hoard than actively seeking to drive him away._

_He’s about to try to grab the key again when there’s suddenly a loud groaning noise from the crow. He watches in horror as the crow morphs, hearing bones snap and grind against each other. He closes his eyes in shock, not wanting to see anymore, and convinced that this is where he really dies, maimed by some shapeshifting crow._

_It seems like seconds but also like forever when the noises finally stop and he opens his eyes to see that the crow had transformed into a man with black hair and full black eyes and skin as pale as snow. There are feathers along the column of his throat, his arms and his legs. They stare at each other for a moment, until the man holds his hand out, the key twinkling in the dim white light of the sun._

_“The key in exchange for your ring.” The crow man’s voice is gruff and quiet, as though he had not spoken in a very long time._

_He blanched, curling his hand over the ring protectively. “You can’t be serious.”_

_But the man? Crow? Doesn’t say anything more, nor does it make any other move, merely staring back at him._

_“Would anything else be sufficient? Must it really be the ring?” He asked, his heart sinking when the crow man shakes his head. The ring was important, it was his most prized possession even if people did think it was only just a cheap piece of metal._

_But he needed the key in order to finish this journey. To find the truth. Would the ring really matter in the long run if the truth he seeks is what he hopes for it to be? Would it matter even if it ends up being what he hopes it wouldn’t be?_

_He took a breath, exhaling it shakily as he twists the ring from his finger._

_“I want you to give the key to me first,” He calls out, the ring held tightly in his fist. He can tell that the crow man wants to protest, feathers along his arms bristling with his annoyance._

_“The man before – the one at the river – promised me the ring and you took it, in a fair world, that would have already been enough for you to have given me that key without asking for something in exchange,” He snapped, “But I know that the world is unfair and cruel, and that is why I will not give you the ring until you have given me the key.”_

_“I was already duped once, while I have not duped anyone. I think I have every right to ask this of you.”_

_The crow man did not say a word in reply for a long time, long enough that he seriously considered whether he would be able to take the man in a fight or if he would truly die trying here atop the cave. But then there’s a sudden flash of glinting light and he finds the key in his hand beside the ring._

_He stares at it dumbly for a moment, while he contemplates whether he would be able to escape the next. Before he realizes that he should know better than to anger a supernatural being._

_“Do – do I leave the ring on the ground? Or do I throw it to you too?”_

_The man tilts his head, as though to say that it’s his choice._

_He doesn’t really have any confidence that he could throw it coolly in the frigid wind while he’s stiff with the cold, but he doesn’t want to go over there nor does he want there to be a chance where the man might come over to him._

_It looks like he’ll have to throw it._

_He cocks his arm back, and flings it forward, swallowing the urge to keep the ring and forcing his hand to open. Forces himself to let go. The ring sails through the air, glinting in the dim light away from him._

_He gasps when the crow man suddenly moves, shifting back into a crow in mid-air and catching the ring in its beak._

_Then there’s a strong gust of wind, and he gasps as he feels his feet trip – the top of the cave had been small, and there had been no rails at the edge. He tries desperately to get back on his feet, or for something to hold onto, but his feet and hands scrabble uselessly against the rock and soon enough he falls over the edge._

XXXXXX

Once was an incident, twice was a coincidence but thrice meant a fucking pattern and it’s the third time he’s had a very vivid, intense dream where he’s somehow in dangerous situations and meeting weird creatures. Clearly either he should stop watching horror movies or he’s actually gone insane.

So he does the only thing he can think of. He researches.

He realizes that the first dream he had was after he came back from Miyagi. He grimaced when he figures that out; he really should have listened and not gone wandering through the old woods much less brought back the box he found with him.

He’s made his bed; he just has to find out what it means now.

The days blur together and he doesn’t realize it’s been a week since he saw anyone until the door to his apartment opens one late Friday evening.

“Yahaba?”

He looks up to see Kyoutani coming in, frowning at him as he toed off his shoes.

“I heard from Watari that he hasn’t seen you in a while. Are you actually slacking from school?” Kyoutani asks, disbelief in every word as though the Yahaba he knows would never skip a class. Like he was actually surprised to find Yahaba here in his own apartment.

“So what if I am? What’s it to you?” It’s a little too bitter but Yahaba doesn’t bother to try and make it sound better.

But Kyoutani doesn’t rise to it. “It’s unlike you. What’s wrong.”

Yahaba had always found Kyoutani’s lack of punctuation amusing but now it just grates on him.

“People change.”

“Not this drastically without reason,” Kyoutani retorts, steadily coming closer. “What happened.”

“Leave me alone.”

“Ever since you came back from that trip, you’ve been acting different,” Kyoutani says; scowling with his arms folded across his chest. “The hell is wrong with you?”

He didn’t know the half of it. Shigeru couldn’t decide between laughing or crying so he did neither.

“Nothing’s wrong with me, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“No, something is up with you. You wouldn’t be skipping class for something unimportant.”

“What do you care? It has nothing to do with you!” He shouts, irritated that Kyoutani wasn’t letting this go. The dreams were starting to affect his work before he started on this research binge anyway.

Kyoutani stares and there’s a moment where he thinks that Kyoutani would actually punch him for real this time. But then he just pushes past Yahaba into the bedroom and somehow he feels like the silence is worse now that he’s actually talked to someone after a long while.

His stomach drops when Kyoutani comes back out with a duffel bag.

“And what do you think you’re doing?” Yahaba snaps as Kyoutani shoves past him, slinging the bag over his shoulder.

“You told me to leave you alone.”

It’s the only answer Yahaba gets before Kyoutani slams the door behind him. The apartment becomes eerily quiet now that they’re not arguing but Yahaba ignores the slight tingle of uneasiness crawling up his spine, anger & irritation still flowing rapidly in his veins.

He directs the restless energy back to research, diving back into it like a madman and resolutely telling himself that he does not miss Kyoutani.

XXXXXXX

He wakes up with a start, peeling his cheek off the table and finding his laptop devoid of battery. He’s exhausted but he’s still hasn’t found any answers yet. He goes to make himself a cup of coffee and that’s where it all goes wrong.

He’s stirring his coffee, turning to the table to continue his research when he sees the woman from the forest in front of him. It startles him so badly that he drops the mug, hot coffee spilling everywhere, and the mug breaking into pieces.

Luckily it managed not to spill on him and when he looks back up the woman is gone. He shakily dismisses it as his brain running on fumes and hastily cleans up the mess. He’s only just managed to get it all cleaned up, carefully wiping the floor when the sound of a child’s high-pitched laugh rings out.

He turns and this time it’s the weird crow-man he’s seen in his dreams looming at the doorway.

“What do you want?” He grunts as he hits the kitchen counter in his haste to grab a knife. He holds it in front of him, warning the crow-man. “What do you want from me?!”

The man disappears and Yahaba stares as a red liquid suddenly start to pool at his feet, sticky and viscous, rapidly spreading through the floor.

Like blood.

“Yahaba?”

Yahaba looks up and finds Kyoutani staring at him in surprise before his gaze flicks over to the knife in Yahaba’s hands.

“What the hell?” Kyoutani frowns, shrugging off his bag as he steps forward, reaching out to Yahaba. “The fuck are you doing with a knife like that, idiot. You’ll hurt yourself.”

“Don’t move!!” Yahaba screeches, pointing the knife straight at Kyoutani’s face. Kyoutani freezes, eyes wide in shock. How dare they use his weakness against him! Do they think he won’t attack if they wore Kyoutani’s face?

“Yahaba. Shigeru.” Kyoutani punctuates each word with a step closer, and Yahaba feels panic as his back presses painfully against the counter in an effort to back up.

“Put that fucking knife down right now.”

“Why should I listen to you? You’re just an illusion!” Yahaba yells, even though Kyoutani has looked more real than anything else so far.

Kyoutani stopped, glare softening into more of a confused, concerned frown that had Yahaba wanting in a way he didn’t like. How needy it made him feel.

“I’m not a hallucination, I’m real.” Kyoutani ventured cautiously, eyes carefully looking between Yahaba and the knife in his hands. “Are you… are you _high?_ ”

Somehow that accusation, thrown so out of left field that reassures Yahaba that it’s real. That Kyoutani was real.

He sags against the wall, knife hanging limp in his hand before Kyoutani takes it from him. He slides the knife to the opposite end of the room and then hugs him tight.

“What’s wrong? What’s happening? Did you get drugged?”

“I’m not high, I didn’t take anything,” Yahaba mumbles, exhausted. He’s so scared.

“What the hell is going on?” Kyoutani asks again, confused and scared and Yahaba can’t hold the tears back any longer. He’s just so exhausted and confused and scared himself.

“I don’t know, I just… I really don’t know, I’m sorry.” Yahaba sobbed, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry for threatening you. Please, I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

He feels a soft kiss against his temple before Kyoutani pulls him up.

“Come on, let’s get you to bed,” Kyoutani mutters, carefully guiding Yahaba backward towards the bedroom without letting him out of the circle of his arms.

“We’ll figure everything out tomorrow.” Yahaba nods tiredly, grateful for Kyoutani’s company as they stumble onto the bed. But Kyoutani pulls away and Yahaba can’t help the panicked whimper. They’ll come for him again when Kyoutani leaves.

“Don’t go, please, don’t leave,” Yahaba reaches out for him desperately, fingers catching on the sleeve of Kyoutani’s shirt.

“I’m not leaving,” Kyoutani reassures, “I’m just going to get you some water.”

“I’ll be right back,” Yahaba whimpers but reluctantly lets Kyoutani go. He dozes as he waits and true to form, Kyoutani comes back, a glass of water in his hand. He makes Yahaba sip it slowly and then tucks him in with a kind of gentleness that has Yahaba choking up.

“Stay,” Yahaba snags Kyoutani sleeve before he can leave again, only relaxing in relief when Kyoutani joins him under the covers, wrapping around Yahaba tightly.

“Sleep. I’ll be here.”

Yahaba believes him.

XXXXXXX

Yahaba wakes up feeling rested for the first time since the dreams started. He’s warm and comfortable, a heavy weight over his waist, a hand pressed snug against his chest. A comforting line of heat along his back.

He’s become so used to waking up screaming that it takes him a while to remember what happened yesterday. He would have thrown himself off the bed in mortification if not for the arm around him tightening in warning when he tries to get up.

“Where’re you going?” Kyoutani slurs, already frowning as he tugs Yahaba even tighter against him. “It’s early.”

“I – uh, I need to pee.” Honestly, he’s still kind of afraid to leave the bed and the safety that comes with being in Kyoutani’s arms but at the moment the embarrassment is winning and he just wants to _not be here._

Kyoutani groans, squeezing him tight once more before letting him go. Yahaba refuses to be endeared by it.

He’s hoping that Kyoutani would either forget about yesterday or just let it go but of course he doesn’t have such luck. They’re having breakfast, one that Kyoutani had cooked after they showered and his guard is down, lulled into a false sense of peace when he attacks.

“You gonna tell me what yesterday was all about?”

Yahaba chews his eggs slowly as he wonders if he could get away with lying but one look at Kyoutani’s unimpressed glare and he knows he couldn’t.

“I don’t know if you’d believe me even if I told you.”

“Try me.”

He fidgets, still tempted to lie when Kyoutani reaches across the table to hold his hand. Gives it a squeeze.

“You can trust me,” Kyoutani says, face open and honest in a way that Yahaba rarely sees. It cracks his already weak resolve and so he spills everything. The dreams, the trip, the box.

By the time he’s done, it’s well into the afternoon but Kyoutani still hasn’t let go of his hand, thumb rubbing soothing circles. Yahaba doesn’t realize how much he liked it until Kyoutani finally pulls away, getting up to get a bottle out of the fridge.

“It’s hard to believe, but I know you. Is that what you’ve been doing? Trying to find a way to stop the dreams?” Kyoutani says as he holds the bottle out to Yahaba and it’s not complete acceptance but he also doesn’t seem to think that Yahaba is crazy and that’s already a huge relief.

He’s too chicken to ask for him to hold his hand again. So he just accepts the bottle and gulps it down before he does anything stupid like grab at Kyoutani’s hand.

“Yeah, I think it definitely originated from that forest in Miyagi. And the dreams… was telling me something. I just need to figure out how it’s linked. I just don’t know if I’d manage to in time.”

Kyoutani’s eyes narrow at that, leaning into Yahaba’s space like he could tell the uptick of fear Yahaba feels as he remembers the hallucinations. How they seemed to be demanding that he figure it out soon.

“How can I help?”

Yahaba blinks in surprise, blurting out “You want to help me?”

He winces when that gets him a glare, Kyoutani grabbing his shoulder in a tight grip.

“You were waving a knife around just yesterday, yelling at things only you could see.” Yahaba flinches from the reminder but Kyoutani isn’t done.

“You could have hurt yourself! Of course I’d help you, even if it’s only to make sure you don’t do anything stupid.”

Yahaba thinks he might just cry and there must really be something wrong with him if being called stupid is making him tear up like this.

“Okay,” he agrees anyway because he’s already accepted that he’d always want Kyoutani, in any way he can.

Kyoutani looks surprised like he thought he’d have to fight him more on it. And then he smiles and Yahaba would have thought he was still hallucinating if not for the hand on his shoulder grounding him.

“It’s just… I feel safer with you around,” Yahaba blurts out, a little ashamed at how needy it sounds. But Kyoutani doesn’t seem to think anything of it, already nodding in agreement that he’ll stay with Yahaba while he tries to work it out.

Having Kyoutani with him every day helps, even if he doesn’t like the fact that Yahaba is continuing his research.

But at least this time there’s someone there to pull him out when he goes too deep, who doesn’t take any of his shit and forces him to take care of himself and his grades.

But most of all, Yahaba just misses him. He missed him so much.

One day he gets a breakthrough.

He found a newspaper article about a young man named Oikawa Tooru, who was arrested for the murder of an Iwaizumi Hajime in Miyagi. Iwaizumi Hajime was a miller’s son as well as Oikawa’s best friend. His body had been found in a field outside their village and that he had been stabbed multiple times.

The article continues to speculate that the motive behind the murder seems to be jealousy. It doesn’t say much but apparently Iwaizumi was going to marry a young lady from a rich family who had fallen in love with Iwaizumi when he had helped her from a pack of robbers as she was passing by the region. The marriage would have boosted Iwaizumi’s status and reputation and it was inferred that Oikawa was jealous of Iwaizumi’s luck.

But Yahaba thinks it’s a different form of jealousy than what the article seems to think. At least, not from what he gathered from the dreams.

He brandishes the article like a trophy when Kyoutani comes back.

“I think I found out what happened,” Yahaba explains the moment Kyoutani’s in hearing range, so engrossed in recounting his dreams so far and his thoughts on what had transpired that he misses the gentle kiss Kyoutani presses to his cheek.

“Now I just need to figure out what they want me to do about it,” Yahaba mutters, cursing his past self for going for a walk in the woods. Look where that got him now.

“You’ll figure it out and show them a lesson,” Yahaba snorts, touched even though they both know that you can’t beat up spirits.

“Thanks, by the way, for being here.”

“It’s nothing,” Kyoutani shrugs, but it seemed like there was something more he wanted to say. He was fidgeting and someone like Kyoutani doesn’t _fidget_ unless they had something serious to say.

“What is it? Just spit it out.”

Kyoutani gives him the middle finger but he stops fidgeting which is more a win for Yahaba. Even if it still takes him a moment before he asks, “What do you think of moving in together?”

Yahaba freezes, forcing himself to act nonchalant. “You want to move in together? Isn’t that a little… unconventional?”

Was it common practice for fuck buddies to move in together? Even if it was, he felt like doing so would be crossing a line somehow.

“Isn’t it something natural for couples to think about by now?” Kyoutani grumbles, frowning now.

“Yeah sure. But I mean, it’s not like we’re dating.” He hadn’t meant to blurt that out but he’s so tired and stressed and maybe it really is time for him to accept this at least. He’s had enough delusions. At least he can be clear with this.

There’s an eerie silence that follows though and Yahaba looks up to see what’s wrong.

“We’re… not?” The words are said quietly, softly, like his worldview just got shattered.

Yahaba was too stunned at the implication that Kyoutani thought they _were dating_ to reply. At the fact that he looked… he looked mortified and _hurt._

“Wait.”

Kyoutani startled, looking at Yahaba with eyes so full of confusion and pain that it has Yahaba struggling to breathe.

“I – “ Kyoutani cuts himself off, and bolts before Yahaba could react. He doesn’t know what to think about what just happened, other than the sinking feeling that he may have missed something very important.

“Kyoutani, wait!” But he’s too late, crashing through his door to find the hallway already empty.

He doesn’t sleep that night, too afraid and worried, sure that he’d never see Kyoutani again. The bastard can be evasive if he wants to and Yahaba already has too much on his plate to add a manhunt to it.

But Kyoutani comes back the next day anyway.

He looks like he didn’t sleep a wink either. They stare at each other and Yahaba almost wonders if it’s a hallucination again when Kyoutani finally speaks.

“I just came to get my stuff. I’ll get out of your way.” Kyoutani said quietly and makes to move past Yahaba. But he blocks immediately, reaching out to grab Kyoutani before he can leave. To make sure he’s real.

Kyoutani looked like he would bite his hand, a scowl on his face but then he pauses, glancing at Yahaba before quietly moving Yahaba’s hand to his wrist. Let him feel the reassuring beat of his heart.

“I’m sorry if I – if I accidentally hurt you. Just, I don’t understand.” Yahaba hates how small he sounds but he’s tired and he doesn’t want Kyoutani to leave again.

“Don’t you remember? That night of Mina’s party?” Kyoutani asks, though he still wasn’t really looking Yahaba in the eye.

He frowns then, he remembers that they slept together that night. “I remember having fun and then we argued and slept together.”

There’s silence as Kyoutani freezes like he just realized something. “… That’s all you remember?”

“Yeah?” The details were a little fuzzy but he remembered drinking with Watari and then arguing with Kyoutani and next thing he knew they were sucking each other’s faces and tearing clothes off each other.

There’s silence as Kyoutani seemed to think something over, though he doesn’t take his arm away and Yahaba resists the urge to pull him closer. He doesn’t want to spook him.

“…When we were fighting, you started screaming how I always got under your skin, how I wormed my way in, and now you can’t get rid of me. You – you told me that you loved me.” Kyoutani finally sighs, staring resolutely at the floor. Yahaba flinches, mortified, and doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

“I should have known you didn’t mean it,” Kyoutani laughs, short and bitter and Yahaba never wants him to sound like that ever again. “You were probably drunk when you said it.”

“I did mean it,” Yahaba choked out, terrified of losing this chance. Kyoutani finally looks at him then, eyes wide. “I am in love with you.”

This time he’s absolutely sober, heart pounding in his ears.

“I just didn’t know if you did too. I was drinking so much because you were talking to – to Mina and you were laughing and I’ve never seen you laugh before and I thought that you would never look at me that way. We were barely even friends.”

“And then we slept together and I thought that if the only way I could have you was as fuck buddies then so be it.”

“And yet all this while we were technically dating?” Yahaba laughs, but it’s hysterical and Kyoutani frowns at him in concern even as he blushes.

“You gave me a key to your apartment, _I_ gave you a key to my apartment, I wanted to move in together,” Kyoutani points out and Yahaba snorts even though the whole situation is so mortifying that it can’t get any worse.

“I thought it was to make booty calls easier.” Kyoutani snorts and Yahaba can’t stop the answering grin even if he’s still one ball of embarrassment.

“God, I can’t believe how _stupid_ I am.”

Kyoutani is steadily coming closer, Yabaha’s fingers painfully tight around his arm but Yahaba can’t really tell from the tears suddenly blurring his vision.

“Yahaba,” Yahaba blinks down at the hand gripping his, calloused and warm and it’s too much. The tears drip down his cheeks and Kyoutani moves before he could even say anything, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him in tight.

“I’m sorry,” Soft and nervous, “I’m sorry I wasn’t clear enough.”

“But we never even kissed or held hands in public,” Yahaba can’t help but question even as he burrows into Kyoutani’s warmth.

“I just thought you weren’t big on PDA.” Kyoutani shrugs and Yahaba makes a sound that’s a cross between a laugh and a sob.

“Trust me; I’d want _everyone_ to know we were dating if I’d actually known that’s what we were doing.” Yahaba shakes his head.

He sees Kyoutani open his mouth – probably to argue more – but he reaches out and pulls Kyoutani into a kiss and he feels giddy now that he can call Kyoutani his boyfriend; has been able to call him that for a while now apparently.

“Stay tonight?”

“Yeah,” Kyoutani agrees easily and Yahaba really should have realized sooner. Should have realized that for as long as their time together, for as much as Kyoutani complained, he never had said no to him.

The rest of the night is spent in quiet comfort, a quick dinner, and bath, the both of them too emotionally drained for anything else. Then they’re curling up together beneath the blankets and Yahaba hopes that his dreams won’t ruin this peace before he falls asleep.

XXXXXXX

_He’s finally reached the gates. With shaking hands, he fits the hard-earned key into the lock and opens the gate._

_It’s eerie and quiet, no supernatural being – that’s he’s actually expecting – waiting for him at the church but he’s heard that there’s a special ritual he needs to do before it’d appear. He would rather not meet it, but he knows that out of all of them, this is the one that will give him the answers he seeks._

_He’s already made it this far, he knew what the consequences were if he failed. So he starts the ritual, making rounds around the entire church building – anti-clockwise, clockwise, and so on – wishing that he could have had his ring to hold onto while he walked._

_It may just be a ring, but it gave him reassurance and helped to ground him, and he misses it terribly as he trudges through the snow. His heart is beating frantically as he finishes the last round, and tries to even his breathing as he takes the last few steps to the church door._

_The door abruptly creaks open and he almost bites his tongue off while trying not to scream in fear. The church is empty once the doors are fully open, except for a lone… creature standing at the altar._

_Waiting for him._

_He stands there for a moment, fear and uncertainty freezing his muscles. But the creature doesn’t move nor make a sound, so he figures he needs to take the initiative. He hopes it would not result in his death. He’s come so far._

_He steps cautiously towards the figure and almost backs away when he realizes that it’s not a man._

_But the surroundings suddenly shift as his feet takes that last step, and he finds that the church is now gone._

_He stares at the – goat? Man? Goat man? – And tries not to hyperventilate._

_The world had disintegrated into nothing, and so he had no choice but to focus on the goat-man or he would go insane if he hasn’t already._

_The goat man’s coat suddenly swirls open with the wind, and he almost screams again when he sees a heart beating, suspended in a black cavity where a body should have been. His eyes are wide open with fear and it takes every bit of willpower not to close them._

_“Eat my heart, and it will show you the truth of the universe.” The words echo in his head and around them and while the goat-man hadn’t even moved at all, he knows it’s from him._

_He wants to gag, wants so badly to refuse. But he knows that he would die if he refuses and all his efforts thus far would have been for naught. So he shakily accepts the bloody – still-beating – heart and cautiously brings it to his mouth._

_And takes a bite._

**I don’t love you anymore.**

**In the old days, man tried to catch a glimpse of the future in the strangest of ways.**

“ _I – Iwa-chan?” Hajime’s body lying motionless in front of him, a growing pool of blood staining the grass beneath him. There’s no response, no gruff voice reprimanding him no matter how much he cries for him._

_He falls to his knees, hands shakily coming up, dread crawling up his throat as he realizes that they’re covered in blood. When he notices the blood-stained knife fallen at his feet._

“Yahaba, wake up!”

_Iwa-chan’s blood._

_…no._

_I killed him._

“Wake up!”

Yahaba gasps as he jerks awake; Kyoutani’s face close to his, eyes wide with worry.

“Kyoutani.” He manages to gasp out before he’s pulled forward, pressed tight against Kyoutani in a hug. He feels cold, snippets of the memory flashing across his eyes and he squeezes them shut, whimpering into Kyoutani’s neck. Even with his eyes shut, the image continues to flicker in his mind.

The cold lifeless body, the blood on the ground, on the blade, on his hands.

He’s shaking, crying uncontrollably into Kyoutani’s shoulder as Kyoutani rubs soothing hands over his back and hair. He knows that it wasn’t him, that he was seeing a memory of Oikawa’s but that doesn’t stop him from feeling Oikawa’s pain and grief, to feel the horror and self-loathing crawling up his spine.

“I killed him, oh my god, I killed him,” Yahaba sobbed, clutching desperately at Kyoutani, somehow terrified that he would be taken from him.

“It wasn’t you,” Kyoutani clutches him back just as tight like he was afraid Yahaba would disappear from him too. “You weren’t the one that killed him. It was someone else.”

_You’ll kill him too._ He thinks his heart stops as he stares at Kyoutani, fear lancing through his entire soul as the ominous voice echoes in his ears. He can’t let that happen.

Kyoutani presses kisses all over – his temple, his cheeks, his eyes, even his nose – before pressing a tender kiss to the corner of his mouth, thumbs wiping the tears away. He doesn’t realize that he said it aloud until Kyoutani growls.

“And you won’t kill me either. You’re not getting rid of me that easily.” The kiss turns rough as he bites at Yahaba’s lips, tugging in a way that demanded Yahaba’s full attention. It works to distract him, brain turning to mush as Kyoutani claims his mouth.

“I love you,” The words are branded into his mouth, to the skin of his neck, his collarbone, his ribs. A trail of hot kisses, the words repeated with every press of lips onto his skin. It’s too much and not enough, he feels like he’s burning from the inside out but also never wants it to stop.

“Kyoutani,” He cries, head spinning too much to articulate any more. But Kyoutani is there, pressing a tender kiss to his cheek, the corner of his mouth.

“Shh, I got you,” Kyoutani murmurs, fingers rubbing soothing circles along his sides. He kisses Yahaba again, this time interspersing firm hard presses with gentler ones.

“You’ll be okay,” Kyoutani presses one last kiss to Yahaba’s cheek, nuzzling his nose into Yahaba’s neck as they finally calm down.

“ _We_ ’ll be okay,” Yahaba corrects and hopes with everything he has that they’ll end this in one piece. He doesn’t want to lose him now that he finally had him. He pulls Kyoutani back down onto the bed and moves so that he’s sprawled over him.

Kyoutani just hums and lets it happen. Scratches fingers through Yahaba’s hair to comfort. “We will. Everything will work out.”

Yahaba nods and listens to Kyoutani’s heartbeat as they wait for dawn.

XXXXXX

**_“It’s too late now.”_ **

**_“It can’t be changed.”_ **

**_“The decision has already been made.”_ **

**_“You must stop coming here.”_ **

**_“I. Don’t. Love. You. Anymore.”_ **

**_…_ **

**_Written it all down._ **

**_Everything that happened._ **

**_It can be changed._ **

**_Deliver the message_ **

**_The journal._ **

**_The secret is hidden._ **

**_North of the mill_ **

**_South of the brook_ **

**_Remember_ **

**_A secret_ **

**_North of the mill, south of the brook_ **

XXXXXXX

There’s a tattoo on his palm.

“Wh-what…” Yahaba can’t stop the fear and panic from bleeding into his voice and he feels the bed shift as Kyoutani startles awake and rollover immediately, reaching over him to take his hand, bringing it closer to examine it.

The strong grip is soothing as is the warmth of his body pressed against Yahaba’s back and it helps to stop his shaking after a few minutes. Kyoutani says nothing about the tattoo, lacing their fingers together and covering the tattoo in his grip.

“It’s okay. You’re safe.” Yahaba feels the words whispered into his skin and he shivers even as Kyoutani’s hold tightens around him. “I’m here.” 

“I won’t let them get to you. I promise,” Kyoutani continues, and the conviction in his voice reassures him even though he knew that there would be nothing Kyoutani could do if the spirits truly wanted him.

“Come on, I’ll make breakfast,” Kyoutani says after a moment of the two of them just tangled together. Yahaba doesn’t want to leave the bed but he wants to leave Kyoutani’s side even less so he forces himself up after him.

He sighs in relief when Kyoutani doesn’t let go of his hand.

They don’t think about it until they’ve finished cleaning, Yahaba leaning against the counter as Kyoutani dries the last plate. It’s all so domestic and he loves it but the warm feeling fades when he opens his palm and sees the tattoo still there.

“I just don’t understand how it could have gotten there,” Yahaba muttered, smoothing a thumb over the tattoo and closing his fist around it.

“The same way you got those dreams in the first place.”

“I know that,” Yahaba rolled his eyes and pinched at Kyoutani’s arm in irritation. “But those were just dreams, they were just in my head. This is a literal tattoo on my hand that I got in my sleep.”

“Maybe it’s a sign? That you’re getting closer to the truth.”

Yahaba hums, not sure if he should be relieved or afraid. He thinks he’s figured it out.

“Maybe.”

Kyoutani looks at him and grabs his hand again, prompting Yahaba to look at him.

“I love you,” Yahaba flushes at the words even as he gives a small smile back. Kyoutani had taken to be more vocal about his feelings – at least when it came to Yahaba – and it’s both the best and worst thing.

“I love you too,” Yahaba smiles into the soft kiss Kyoutani pressed against his mouth and thinks that for all the pain and grief of this whole ordeal, he’s grateful that it’s given him this reality. To have Kyoutani and be loved in return.

XXXXXX

**NEWSPAPER CLIPPING:**

**Tokyo. January 21 st.**

**Yesterday morning Miyagi-killer Oikawa Tooru was executed at Tokyo prison. He was found guilty for the heinous murder of Iwaizumi Hajime last year. The death sentence has been criticized by the highly renowned Dr. Takeda Itettsu who stated that “Oikawa is suffering from an abnormal psyche. He seems to have problems discerning past from present and has visions of terrible creatures, something not uncommon among schizophrenics. Oikawa cannot be held accountable for his actions and should be given treatment at an institution for the criminally insane.”**

**The execution was performed by Ushijima Wakatoshi. This was his fourth execution. Last year he was to perform the execution of the notorious Michimiya Yui, who was charged with the murder of an infant, Hinata Shouyou in Miyagi but who took her own life before the sentence could be carried out. Security has been improved greatly since.**

**Oikawa Tooru was composed during the whole process. Besides the slightly shaking hands so common among the criminal type, you could not tell Oikawa from any other young men. He sobbed loudly once when he laid his head down low but quickly regained his composure. A quick prayer and a swift powerful stroke and it was over. According to the attending priest, Ennoshita, Oikawa’s last words were:**

**“I should have killed myself. Then none of this would have happened.”**

Yahaba placed the newspaper clipping into the box and placed it aside. He’s just starting on the letter he wants to write to Oikawa when the front door clicks open. He hears Kyoutani shuffle around in the living room before he appears in the doorway to their room, crunching on an apple.

“What are you doing?” Kyoutani asks as he comes closer, and Yahaba relished in the warmth as Kyoutani leans against his side. He offers the apple to him but Yahaba shakes his head.

“I’m writing a letter, to include in the box,” Yahaba replied, smiling a little when he feels Kyoutani press his lips against his temple, hesitant. He leans into him more, encouraging and his heart wants to melt when Kyoutani does it again, the kiss surer this time.

“Okay,” Kyoutani leans back and Yahaba misses him already. “Don’t take too long. I’ll go get dinner started.”

Kyoutani leaves with one last squeeze of Yahaba’s shoulder and he focuses back onto the letter he needs to write.

**_Dear Oikawa Tooru,_ **

**_You are long dead when I write this. And I have not yet been born. Yet we have a connection beyond life, death, space, and time. The impossible made possible by year walking._ **

**_But the watchers always win. Even though you’ve not passed through the rift yet, they sense the urge and they want their sacrifice._ **

**_I wish there could be another way. I am sorry. But for him there is still hope._ **

**_You can save him._ **

**_You know what you must do._ **

XXXXXX

The train arrives in a cacophony of noise and he fingers the leather band that Kyoutani gifted him. The feel of it reassures him, a reminder that he won’t be alone in this. Even if the man himself can’t be there.

A hand comes to cover his, gently pulling his fingers away and intertwining their fingers instead. It makes him smile and soothes the anxiety a little as they watch the passengers come out.

“Looks like it’s time for me to go,” Yahaba mutters, standing up when the train clears. He’s been sitting with Kyoutani and the time has finally come to return to where it all started.

“Do you really have to do this?” Kyoutani asks, and Yahaba has never seen Kyoutani look… scared.

“You know I have to,” Yahaba says softly, “They won’t stop until I do. And no, you will _not_ follow me. I won’t take that risk.”

“I don’t like it,” Kyoutani grumbles and it’s only the slight shake of his hand that gives him away.

“Neither do I,” Yahaba squeezes Kyoutani’s hand and hopes fervently that it wouldn’t be the last time.

The last bell tolls and Yahaba reluctantly pull away. Kyoutani’s fingers twitch like he wants to grab him but doesn’t.

He has to get on the train before he changes his mind.

“I’ll be here.” Kyoutani interrupts just before he turns away, eyes meeting Shigeru’s. “I’ll be here when you get back.”

“I – “

“So don’t make me wait too long, okay?” Kyoutani rushes out; a blush blooming across his cheeks even as his eyes reflect the fear and worry inside.

It makes Yahaba’s heart hurt.

He grabs Kyoutani into a hug before he can think about it, holding him tight even as Kyoutani tenses with surprise.

“I’ll be back soon, I promise,” Yahaba says, face pressed into the crook of Kyoutani’s neck. He feels Kyoutani’s arms come tight around him, feels Kyoutani melt into him before he gently extricates himself from Yahaba’s arms.

“I’ll hold you to that.” Soft, too soft.

It feels too much like a goodbye.

But Kyoutani looks up at him and the unwavering trust reflected in them steals Yahaba’s breath away.

“I love you.”

XXXXXX

_“Hajime?”_

_Iwaizumi flinches slightly before he looks up and sees Miyano-san, standing a little away from him. She’s wearing black and he’s surprised to know that she had been invited to Oikawa’s funeral. He hadn’t even noticed her during the ceremony. But then again, it was only Iwaizumi who knew of Oikawa’s dislike of her. Oikawa treated her like a princess in front of everyone else; including her._

_He feels his heart skip as he looks at her, brown hair and eyes so similar to that of Oikawa’s. Only the shade is slightly darker, her skin paler and their personalities being that of complete opposites is what makes them different._

Oikawa is dead because of her. Because of him.

_His hand spasms around the bouquet at the thought but he squashes it along with his anger even as self-loathing threatens to consume him whole._

_“Miyano-san. Is there something you need?”_

_He watches disinterestedly as she fidgets, a blush forming on her cheeks. He would have tried not to make it awkward for her any other time, for any other girl who hadn’t proposed to him._

_He would have found it cute if it was Oikawa that was the one blushing._

_He should have run away with Tooru._

_“W-well, I know this is a bad time for you – “_

_Hajime had a real struggle to stop himself from snarling at her._

_“ – But I was wondering… about my proposal… I know it is a little unconventional but… Do – do you have an answer for me?” She finally squeaks out, hands wringing her handkerchief. Her entire face is red now and she tilts it down slightly in embarrassment. Her eyes are determined and expectant though as she keeps his gaze and he has to commend her for it. Iwaizumi himself had frozen, having completely forgotten about the proposal she had posed to him and his promise to let her know the day before._

_With Oikawa’s disappearance and subsequent death, it had completely slipped his mind._

_The proposal that had ruined_ everything.

_“I –“_

I love you, Hajime. One day I hope to marry you. Will you be mine?

_His hand spasms again, and he turns away from her, carefully laying the bouquet atop the grave. He takes a moment to pray, letting his grief, anger, regret, love, and everything he never got to tell Oikawa consume him. When he gets up and turns back, he sees Oikawa instead, flushed with embarrassment and anticipation and Hajime feels a smile on his lips._

_“Yes. Yes, I’ll marry you.”_

_Hajime watches as Oikawa’s brown eyes light up, a shy smile spreading into a grin as he laughs in happiness and Hajime soaks it all up, commits the sight to memory as he steps forward into the darkness._

**Author's Note:**

> If you made it this far, thanks for reading!
> 
> Do let me know if I missed out on any tags. 
> 
> (^_^)v


End file.
